Crown of Thorns
by Manaxsavior
Summary: Where does one draw the line between human and monster? Is there a set boundary at all? She left everything behind for the sake of her loved ones, but all she's left with is despair. If given the chance, what will she choose? Regaining her humanity, or the only life she's ever known? Epilogue to My Dearest
1. Unlikely Reunion

**Crown of Thorns**

Chapter 1: Unlikely Reunion

For those new to this story, this is the epilogue to _My Dearest_. There are also some companion fics to this too. I recommend reading _Room for Three_, _Fly me to the Moon_, _My Dearest_, and finally _Crown of Thorns_ (In that order) if you want the full experience!

Alright, you all asked for it! It ended up being longer than I expected. Get ready for more tear jerkers… There's going to be a part 2 alright? Just wait for it. I just started school again but i'm a little more of a quarter of the way done with chapter 2. Sorry if the page breaks are annoying near the end.

* * *

_Why do you always shoulder the burden on your own, _

_Suffering alone?_

_Why do you take all the blame, _

_Saying "It's my fault things turned out like this"?_

_I'm so powerless_

_Can't I support you even a little?_

_-Ayumi Hamasaki, Tell Me Why_

* * *

"Damn it! That idiot…" Soma cursed and ran through the city, white god arc in tow. A New-Type Aragami howled nearby and he cursed again. He sank down below a fallen piece of rubble and steadied his breathing. His eyes scanned the ground and he noticed a trail of blood leading into a cave a little ways away. However, it was in the direction of the large wolf-like Aragami in the vicinity. His eyes also caught traces of broken shards of faintly glowing white metal. Soma gripped his sword tighter and hoped those familiar shards weren't what he thought—a broken Trovatore blade…

His eyes scanned the ground more for any clues, but he was annoyed to find none. That girl, although reckless, was good at retreating without a trace if needed. Kota taught her well. When Soma was sure the huge wolf Aragami was far enough he sprinted into the mouth of the cave before any Zygotes alerted his presence. The scent of blood was heavier here as it mixed in with the moisture in the damp cave. More shards of gleaming white metal littered the floor. But it was only a matter of seconds before the light finally died down—signaling the death of the Oracle cells that comprised it. Usually the god arc survived off similar cells from its owner if it had nothing else to devour. But even so, without them they could still survive quite a while on their own. When God Eaters died, retired, or went MIA their God Arcs were reclaimed until there was another match for the bias factor.

But there was an uncanny ability that only New-Type god eaters possessed. Occasionally when the owner died, the cells comprising their weapons also died shortly after—almost like they were truly in complete symbiosis. So either it's been a while since the sword shattered…

Or the owner was…

Soma refused to acknowledge the possibility of that last option and continued down the cave. He popped a glow stick from his pack and let it hang on his belt to illuminate the cave. It looked like part of it was made from old pipeline, so some of the surfaces were smooth and the corridors were easy enough to navigate, minus the boulders of rubble that occasionally called for a short climb. From there he could see large smudges of blood dragged against the smooth curved wall, as if someone was using it for support. Soma's desperation in his search increased tenfold. Judging by the amount of blood…there's no way the injury _couldn't_ be fatal—god eater or not.

He heard a faint slapping sound paired up with a muffled agonized cry echo a further ways down and took off, white god arc in hand. He had half a mind to drop it to run faster, but years of search missions like these told him that the fight isn't over even after you've found your target. Leaving a god arc behind in a dark cavern like this was like a death sentence.

"I thought I told you that you're not allowed to die before I find you, you idiot…!"

* * *

A redheaded god eater groaned and stopped for a moment against the wall. Her gloved hands were stained with crimson, one more so since it pressed itself against a side wound to help staunch the bleeding. Her eyes grew heavier each passing moment as she fought to stay awake despite the heavy loss of blood. She dropped what little remained of her once beautiful white god arc a couple feet back since she was unable to even carry it any longer.

The god eater felt her legs give out at last and she slid down the wall with a pained moan. Her back, once burning with claw marks, was beginning to feel blissfully numb against the cold cavern walls. She started to wish the feeling spread throughout her body, but at the same time the pain was the only thing keeping her awake and alive now. Her hand, trembling with strain, slowly reached into her pouch and searched for a health pill, an adrenaline shot, _anything_. The heaviness in her eyes wasn't going away and sheer willpower alone wasn't going to help any longer. When she was met with nothing but useless bandages she cursed. An absolutely crazy thought entered her desperate mind as she took the long pale ribbons out.

She layered a few together and put them between her teeth while she was still conscious enough to think coherently. With a deep breath, she raised her hand that wasn't holding her side wound and harshly slapped her injured leg that had a long thin slash against it. She had managed to bandage it before she was injured so gravely, but a spike of pain running through her body made her clench down on the cloth in her mouth. A muffled scream escaped her and she shut her eyes tight. Tears cut trails through the dirt and grime on her face and she breathed heavily through her nose so that she wouldn't drop the bandages from her teeth. If she did, she probably wouldn't be able to put it back in. The haze of sleep disappeared and she was awake again—albeit paralyzed with pain. Delving into her drying well of energy she raised her hand to her ear and fumbled for the talk button. The bandages fell just slightly, so all she'd need to do is move her chin to get them back in her mouth again.

"God Eater Amagi Rin… Requesting back-up. I repeat…back-up."

When she was only met with static she ripped the communicator out of her ear and threw it in a random direction. Her anger allowed her this luxury of movement, but Rin became sluggish once more. The god eater rested her head on the pipe wall and sighed. "So…this must be how Lindow felt back then… I can't say I don't blame him for wanting to stay in the Den afterwards." Rin laughed hollowly, only to wince at the movement. More blood poured from her wounds—adding to the growing puddle beneath her.

Rin expected a fight, but she didn't expect how the higher ups would do it. Fenrir's mission to the moon had been postponed due to lack of resources, so at the very least Rin didn't have to worry about Shio for the time being. However, they would constantly set her up with rookies on high level missions. Of course she'd prioritize their safety and took the brunt of the blows as they predicted. The Directors even took great care to make these unfair missions seem like accidents or miscalculations on the scouter's part. Day after day, mission after mission, this 'bullying' (naming it nicely) continued to chip away at her stamina. Yesterday, when it seemed like she had a competent team in a scouting mission, Rin began to hope that her ordeal was over for now at least.

She was dead wrong.

* * *

_Approximately Three Hours Prior…_

"Great. I get stuck with another loony team…" A blonde god eater flipped one of her twin tails and turned her head out the chopper windows with a well practiced glare. Rin recognized her from the Base as one of the members of the reconnaissance teams. A part of her wondered how her and Kota would work together, but upon remembering her old life she felt the familiar loneliness assault her chest. The redhead chose to ignore her comment instead of make an easy going joke to cut some of the tension in the avian vehicle.

"H-Hey, look on the bright side," started another god eater. "All we gotta do is find that… Uh, that New-Type Aragami and slash it!"

She recognized him too. He was one of the rookie New-Types that had been under her care for a little less than a week. He never had a knack for gun usage but was already assigned a role as temporary Unit leader.

"We are not to engage it unless we get orders. For now we are only here to survey it and report back." Rin corrected him, earning a deep frown from their leader.

Rin, no longer a leader herself, questioned if he was remotely ready for the heavy task. Sure, when she was assigned position as leader with Lindow went MIA she was obviously nervous but took up the task seriously. At the very least, though, she was already becoming skilled with her skills as a New-Type god eater; the main skills being able to switch between blade and bullet. Their current leader relied solely on his long sword and shield. And even if she ever deemed him adept enough with his gun, he often stuttered and hesitated with crucial orders. There was many a time where Rin had to bite her tongue to keep herself from issuing orders. It wasn't that she did it because she dearly missed the position. It was mainly because…well… Most orders she heard from the higher ups during her stay at the Base resulted in more than a few casualties. In short:

She utterly _despised_ her current branch's disregard for life.

"This is where we drop you monsters off," One of the drivers hollered from the front. Rin glared at him and his lips curled into a defensive snarl. "What are you looking at, woman? Go out and do your job!"

"L-Let's go…" Their leader mumbled dejectedly as he leapt off the chopper. The gunners followed suit. Rin stared down the driver for a few more seconds before jumping off the chopper as well. There was no use fighting it if what words he sprung were true. They were no longer human. They lost that right a long time ago. Rin clenched her fists when she landed.

The city was quiet save for the flaming buildings in the distance. Even though the buildings were familiar, Rin saw no comparison between this city and the one where the setting sun hit the broken glass just right. This place was just a testament to the continued destruction going around the world.

"About time we landed," The blonde assault gunner dusted her skirt off and readjusted the strap connected to her gun. "Let's get this over with." She scanned the horizon without much energy. Their leader looked around hesitantly like a rookie on his first mission. Their sniper kicked dirt around in random patterns. If Rin had no care in the world, she would have buried her face in her palms at her team.

"Hey, why don't we—" she started but a loud roar alerted all of them. She could feel the ground shake beneath her and she readied the Trovatore blade in her hand. From atop a tall building nearby, a huge shape stepped into view.

One look at the giant wolf-like creature and Rin felt the hair on the back of her neck rise. There was no way they could take it down, not with the way her team worked together. The leader of the Unit was frozen in place. Their sniper was constantly losing focus and was instead murmuring "it's coming…it's coming…" She's heard rumors that he was a test subject for resonance in Old-Type god eaters and was given side-effects from the treatment. Some said he was able to glimpse into the future while others just call him mad. Rin was no stranger to psychological cases like his, but it would have been nice to know he was definitely unstable before coming on the mission. Their blonde assault gunner seemed normal enough if you could push aside her haughty attitude and biting comments every now and then. Overall, her team felt like a powder keg next to a fire.

"Everyone… _slowly_ retreat." Rin whispered as she cautiously stepped away. Everyone else regarded her with surprise. Even worse, they didn't heed her order.

When the beast roared yet again, their sniper accidentally released a bullet through a large glass. The sound of shards shattering echoed through the city and soon enough the god eaters heard the wolf growl threateningly at them down below. It lowered itself momentarily in a position to jump. From its size, it could easily flatten them if it landed on any of them.

"Scatter!" Rin shouted as she jumped back quickly. Since the rest of the team was unused to her being in command there was a precious time lag. Although they managed to avoid being crushed by the giant creature's weight, they were still within attacking distance. The huge Aragami's claw slashed through them. The leader was thrown into a nearby building, the haughty assault gunner hit the ground hard, and the snipers's body went flying in the air. Rin didn't want to see how he landed. The thin, broken pipes jutting out near where the sniper went flying were enough to guess…

When the beast started pacing towards the fallen assault gunner on the floor Rin cursed and quickly switched to her Bugal Gun. She readied her God's Breath bullet to get its attention while doing some crush damage.

"Hey ugly! Over here!"

By the time the Aragami turned its head to her Rin was up in its face and fired. It roared in pain and staggered—buying both precious time for the gunner and life-threatening attention to herself. Rin tried to switch to her short sword while side stepping, but the beast easily bat her away with its other claw. Its recovery time was astounding! She cried out at the impact as she made contact with a nearby boulder of rubble. Her head was spinning and her back stung with blinding pain. Her leg stung and she bitterly noticed a long cut along her left thigh. Nearby she saw a sharp sheet of metal gleaming with her blood.

"Damn… That thing hits harder than an Amaterasu…"

The wolf roared once more and she paled when she heard familiar cries following it. Soon enough, two Vajra's entered the scene from two sides, each sparking with electric rage. She hoped they would fight each other and give her time to give link-aid to her teammates, but much to her chagrin the Vajra stayed close—as if the wolf was the alpha of the pack. She had dealt with an entire herd of Vajra before by herself, but that was only because she finally managed to memorize the movements of their muscles and mannerisms enough to dodge any skill they used. Not to mention she was in tiptop shape at the time. With this New-Type player in the mix, she wasn't she could safely take these three on herself—flash bombs or not.

"It's coming…" a voice croaked out nearby. Rin recognized it as the sniper from their group and carefully craned her head. Just as she suspected, he was impaled through the shoulder and lower right quadrant. If she were to move him, he'd bleed out fast. His eyes searched hers, painfully pleading. It was the first time she saw sane, albeit frightened, clarity in them. "C-Coming…?"

"Shh…" Rin hushed soothingly to her fellow god eater. She forced herself not to stare at the growing puddle of crimson lifeblood around where he was trapped and bleeding out. "Nothing is coming to get you." The sniper closed his eyes for a moment before reopening them. His blue eyes, which were looking more and more like an innocent child's, were filling with unshed tears.

"Don't listen… Don't hear it…"

"I won't. Now rest." She said quietly and sent what she hoped was a reassuring smile to him. The sniper smiled, glad someone at last listened to him, and took a staggering breath. His eyes closed, releasing the tears from their confines as well as his last breath.

Rin frowned from she was sure he was gone and got up. Her left leg protested and blood flowed from the wound. The redhead scowled but got a roll of bandages from her pack and quickly bound the cut. It wasn't long before the white cloth was stained with red, but at the very least it would keep her movements steady. Her back was another issue entirely. It burned and stung against the dry air. She was hesitant to even look at the state it was in.

The Aragami hadn't noticed her yet so she carefully scanned around for the assault gunner. There was evidence of dragging from where she last saw her. The marks led into a nearby office building. Rin followed the tracks after checking for any stray Aragami. She could hear the faint roar of that wolf Aragami, but she took a chance. Rin moved swiftly and silently across the field. When she safely got inside she saw the gunner propped up against the wall. Her blonde twin tails were undone and the long ribbons that held them in place were against her head with her left hand to staunch her bleeding temple. Her right arm hung limply at her side.

Rin hurried over and knelt down to the dizzy gunner. "You alright?"

She seemed to blink back her confusion just a bit and parted her lips. "Does it look like I am...?" Without replying, Rin took out a jar of medicine and applied it to the ugly gash on the gunner's forehead. After bandaging it, Rin surveyed her up and down.

"You broke your arm?" it was more of a statement than a question and the gunner nodded slowly. "Okay, I need you to bite into this." Rin gently coaxed a thin strip of bandaging past her lips, which she grudgingly accepted. "I have to set it before I can give you medicine. It's going to hurt, but you have to stay quiet or they'll hear us outside, okay?" For the first time, Rin saw a flash of fear in the girl's eyes. She looked so much younger now. She must have been fourteen or fifteen at most. "I'll try to make it quick, okay? Just watch our backs just in case anything tries to enter the room." Hesitantly the girl nodded. Rin studied the break in her arm. Luckily the broken bone hadn't pierced the skin, but it was at an odd angle at the elbow. Easy enough to set, in concept, but through personal experience she knew it would be an agonizing process. "Ready?"

When the girl nodded Rin slowly started to shift her bone into place. At first she let out a squeal but she bit down hard on the bandage with her teeth. Rin let out a quick apology but continued to set the bone. After a while she let out a muffled cry louder than earlier. Rin fought the urge to look behind her if any of the Aragami heard her. Once she was sure he work was good enough she took out an elixir pill, one of the only ones she had, and pressed it into the girl's mouth. She took out a canteen and brought it to her lips.

"Last thing I need you to do for me."

The girl swallowed gratefully and sighed in relief when the oracle cells in her body started fixing her back up, albeit slowly. "Thank you…"

"I'll call a chopper in. We're getting out of here." Rin lifted her hand to the small communicator in her ear. "God Eater—"

"It's no use…" the gunner coughed up blood from her more serious internal injuries. A restore pill wouldn't be able to make a dent in those. "No one is going to answer."

"Why the hell not?" Rin scowled and tried again. "God Eater Amagi Rin. Aborting mission. Requesting chopper!"

"For two reasons," she answered and attempted to shift into a more comfortable position. "One: the coms are set to relay orders to the Base _only_ from the leader. Two…" her eyes looked away and her lips pressed into a thin line. "This mission was never meant to be completed."

Rin's eyes widened and she gasped in confusion and horror. "What? What do you mean?"

The gunner sighed. "I'm sure you've noticed the signs. An unstable sniper? A greenhorn leader? And me—the worst person to consider something like _teamwork_." She spat the word out in disgust. "It was a setup from the start."

"How do you know this?" The redhead asked. The girl bit her bottom lip in contemplation. Rin placed a hand on the girl's shoulder gently. "Please tell me."

"Amagi Rin. Previous 1st Unit leader in the Fenrir Far Eastern Branch. First New-Type assigned to that branch and one of the few that passed the aptitude test with minor side-effects. Specialty: short blade and tower shield. Gun: blaster. Aided fellow New-Type Alisa Amiella's mental stability by the use of resonance. Known for leading her team to prevent the Devouring Apocalypse and resolved the Hannibal incident concerning Amamiya Lindow." It was as if she was reading off a file normally classified under normal means. A wry smile touched her bloodied lips. "I didn't expect you to let your guard down so soon even though you expected all that treatment you got."

The redhead glared but pulled back her retorts. "Where do you fit in? If no one was meant to survive this mission, then what did _you_ do to warrant Fenrir's attention?" The gunner smiled wryly again and shook her head. Rin understood the gesture. Everyone had scars worth gaining. The question was what they lost in exchange. The redhead turned her head to the entrance of the building after hearing the heavy footfalls of a large Aragami nearby.

"Go… Leave me." The gunner coughed. "Your best bet at survival is to get that greenhorn leader's com. No guarantee it'll still work but it's worth a try. I can hold my own here."

"I won't—"

"Just go!" she growled, loud enough to startle Rin but quiet enough not to alert the Aragami outside. The redhead god eater studied the stubborn look in the gunner's eyes. Reluctantly Rin got up and started to make her way out. "By the way…"

Rin half turned her head. "Hm?"

"You better hope our leader is down for the count." She said. "Something seemed fishy before we left on the mission… Don't trust him." The redhead bristled at her for contempt for life, but she quickly rushed out of the building before she could change her mind about keeping her alive.

She had more important matters to attend to.

With an urgent swiftness in her step, Rin sprinted out of the building and made it her mission to at least make it to the closest cluster of boulders for cover. Even if she no longer heard any more heavy footsteps it never hurt to be too careful. Her ears strained to hear the Aragami, but strangely enough everything was completely silent. She took out a small scouter that every god eater was given on missions. According to a blinking red arrow just a little north of here, their leader was probably knocked unconscious. She thanked whatever stubborn deity that was watching over her and hurried over. Once again she caught sight of trails of blood and drag marks on the floor leading into a building—an old pharmaceutical company in fact. Rin chuckled at the irony at how Fenrir used to be one, and now it's humanity's last hope for survival.

"Hey, is anyone in here?" Rin called out softly. She stepped over the rubble in the building and frowned at the sight of it. The place was looted for medical supplies Tapestries were torn and desks were either overturned or scavenged. The redhead tried focusing on finding their leader and was graced with a low pitiful groan from across the room. Beneath a desk was their leader, holding his side with one arm while the other had a loose grip on his long sword. "Are you alright?"

The man made a noise of surprise and instinctively tightened his hold on his god arc. Rin froze and got into a defensive stance while still advancing to the stunned god eater. "It's me, Amagi. From your unit." His eyes studied her critically before exhaustion overrode his suspicions. When he slumped even more Rin hurried to him and placed her god arc down. "Hold on. Just let me—"Her ears heard it before she could react. The faint 'shing' of metal. Rin felt her side dampen with warmth and she looked down to see his ice katana run cleanly through her side. "What are you doing?"

He grinned through bloody lips and put his other hand on the hilt of the dull edge of his blue blade. "No hard feelings, Amagi."

The edge glowed pale blue and Rin hurriedly pulled her blade in front of her. Seconds later, his god arc discharged a heavy blast of ice that sent her flying backwards into the opposite wall. Her impact broke a sturdy desk and she felt the blaze of her back injuries multiply tenfold. She cried out in pain and her god arc seemed to understand the feeling. The delicate white Trovatore blade, unused to being used to defend, cracked in several places. Rin felt unease in the cells within her bracelet and she mentally hushed them and sent soothing thoughts to the panicking cells.

When she regained her focus she struggled to get up only for her wound to ache in protest. Shakily, she surveyed her stab wound. Her green shirt was stained with dark crimson. Despite the burn, she also felt a shocking chill through the wound—most likely due to the freeze element in his god arc. The leader slowly got up from his position and went towards the door with slow unsteady steps.

"You…" Rin grit out and still attempted to push herself up despite the blood pulsing out with the strain. When she noticed him take two small vials of clear liquid she paled. "Wait, no. Don't!"

He smiled softly at her. A sort of self-depreciating smile. "Nice knowing you, 1st Unit Leader." And with that, he broke the vials of taunting scent. The air seemed to grow thick with tension and an ominous curtain fell over Rin. Quickly she searched through her pouch, hoping—_praying_ she brought one with her. At last, her hand made contact with a similar vial except with blue liquid. Just as soon as she broke the vial and the fluid touched her, a piercing scream attacked her ears. She couldn't look away when the wolf-Aragami appeared at the doorway and leapt onto the suicidal god eater. Soon, those screams turned to laughter—laughter that could only be described as mad.

"_Don't listen… Don't hear it…"_

For some reason, the snipers words came back to her at this very moment. But it was too late. The sounds were already etched into her ears. The images were burned into her brown retinas. At last, when the beast had made its fill of the meager meal, it paced the room in search for more blood. Its heavy footfalls came closer and closer to her. Its large talons were gleaming in her direction. 'Where are you,' those claws seemed to say as they thirsted for more flesh. The large Aragami came closer and closer to her and Rin grew too scared to breathe. At last, it stopped right in front of her. Its gold eyes studied where she lay motionless in her small growing puddle of blood.

It leaned forward and sniffed the air right in front of her face. She could smell the merciless carnage on its fangs, but she couldn't find it in herself to look away.

'If I'm going to die here…'

The Aragami's breath grew heavy and saliva dribbled down its large jaw.

'I won't turn away. For all the times humanity has turned their backs on you gods, I will stand to face you now.'

It paused. It was almost considering what to do next. The Aragami tilted its head and let out a high pitch whine before retreating out of the room. Rin exhaled slowly and thanked Dr. Sakaki for leaving her some high grade disguise scent before she left the Den. With a wince, she managed to get up at last and popped some medicine in her mouth. The feeling of her oracle cells repairing her damaged ones never ceased to amaze her, and a part of her never wanted to get used to it. Wouldn't that mean she was no different than the Aragami she slays? She wasn't human, nor was she an Aragami. If she _had_ the choice, she wondered what would be her answer.

When she assumed the beast was a reasonable distance away she started to move for safer cover. She vaguely remembered there was a tunnel system nearby. The Aragami looked far too big to maneuver in the narrow and confined spaces. Rin just hoped she wouldn't find anything else in there… She picked up her cracked God Arc and frowned when it started to fall apart.

"Just a little farther…" Rin whispered gently to the blade in her hands. She could almost feel it hum in her hands in response. The resolve to live never died out within the God Eater as she carefully maneuvered out of the building and, hopefully, into the dark foreboding tunnels.

* * *

Soma sniffed the damp air with narrowed eyes. Despite his usual protests whenever anyone asked him if his sense of smell was really keen, he threw caution to the wind today. He'd use every single one of his Aragmi senses in order to find her. For the first time he found himself lucky to have the enhancements done to him since birth. He'd tear the earth apart if he could to find her. Soma knew she could hold her own and that she didn't need a fantasy knight in shining armor to protect her. After all, there was nothing honorable or glorious in this pathetic place they call earth anymore. Still, he couldn't shake the deep pit of doubt and protectiveness that flowed through him now.

The platinum blonde found himself at a three path crossroad and growled. The light from his glow stick was growing fainter and he cursed. He forgot to replace this old one in his haste to depart on the mission. He could no longer see trails on the walls and despair began to set in. As a last ditch effort he found himself shouting:

"Rin!"

* * *

Behind her eyelids she could hear a sound so familiar that it made her want to cry. That voice… It couldn't be. Rin fought with the urge to hope or to ignore. It could have been her imagination playing tricks on her. It wouldn't be the first time she hallucinated hearing things. Then again, maybe her deluded hope would help her survive just a minute, just a _second_ longer. But what good would that do? No one from the branch will come to get her. No survivors in this abandoned city would dare risk their lives for a God Eater they've never met before. She would die alone. All alone…

"_I'll come find you. It doesn't matter where either. I'll find you no matter what."_

'Why?' she thought with a bitter smile on her lips. 'Why am I remembering that now?'

It had been quite a while since her current branch cut off her communications with the Den for reasons unknown. They claimed it was to prevent 'information leaks' but she had a hunch. They wanted to break her both physically and mentally. The bad thing was that it was working. The times she managed to unwind inside her room and chat with her friends rejuvenated her. Sometimes everyone would crowd into one room to share a screen. Sometimes even Tsubaki joined in for 'debriefing,' but Rin knew that the woman must have missed her as well. And the times she was allowed to speak one-on-one with a certain buster blader… It made all the pain and fatigue from her harsh days at her current branch vanish just by hearing that voice. She wasn't going to hear it ever again.

"_If you talk like that it sounds like you're giving up, leader."_

"Rin! Where are you?"

Her eyes began to water and she prayed that for once her delusions would prove true for once—that her hopes would be more than just hopes. He came after all. She parted her lips and tried to call out in a loud voice. All that came out was a hoarse whisper as she coughed. Soma… Soma!

"Damn it… Where the hell is she?"

"I'm here, I'm here…!" Her throat tried to scream but her voice couldn't grow louder than a whisper. Her side blazed in pain when she tried to move again but she couldn't even find the energy to yell. She could hear his footsteps grow farther and farther away and she began to despair. She couldn't shout. She couldn't cry. If this was the case…then maybe whispering was enough.

_Oh the wildflowers that bloomed_

_Ah, please tell me_

_Why do people fight,_

_Hurting one another?_

* * *

A song? Where… Where is it coming from?

Soma stopped to listen. It was quiet and hardly above a whisper. There was no way a normal Aragami could have made that noise and, out of all the people he knew, only two sang like that. The tunnels continued to expand the further he went in. He could no longer follow the heavy scent of blood because water was distilling the smell and dispersing throughout the tunnels. Soma couldn't even follow the blood trails on the wall. This section of the tunnels were different from the pipeline, hence the walls were rough and jagged. It's no wonder that the injured target stopped using it for support if all they could do was drag themselves against it. A song continued to echo throughout the labyrinthine tunnels, but he closed his eyes to try to pinpoint its location. Soma tried to ignore its heartbreaking tenor with little success.

_Oh the flower blooming nobly_

_What can you see from there?_

_Why can't people_

_Forgive one another?_

The left? He rushed over down that corridor. The scent of blood finally began to pick up and he debated if that was a good thing or a bad one… The smudges on the wall reappeared once the path went back to the smooth pipeline walls. The song grew louder as he went. When Soma took another step his foot kicked something away. Upon closer inspection, it was the hilt of a shattered god arc. "Rin!" He turned and frowned when the scent of blood was exceptionally strong here.

_The rain passed and summer_

_turned bluish_

_as one_

_You trembled faintly_

_In front of me_

The song paused. He turned to the left and looked down as his eyes widened to see a familiar head of red hair sitting propped up against the wall a couple feet away. She looked up at his face and smiled weakly before finishing the last line of the stanza. "_Without saying a thing…_"

"What the hell happened to you?" he growled low but it was heavily laced with worry.

He knelt down and surveyed her appearance. One leg was wrapped with a bloody bandage. A thin cloth was on her lap and he immediately knew the muffled scream from earlier was definitely her. Soma saw one hand bloodier than the other and on closer inspection he saw that it was covering a large wound. What concerned him more was that it wasn't made by an Aragami… It was made by a sword. When he saw her face he noticed her beginning to drift off in unconsciousness. He forced himself to lightly slap her cheeks to keep her awake.

"Hey, don't you dare fall asleep. You can sleep all you want when we get back."

He quickly grabbed an elixir and tried bringing it to her lips. The precious liquid trickled down her chin. Letting out another growl, he took a small swig of the elixir himself and gently coaxed her lips open. Carefully, he pressed his lips to hers and slowly allowed it to trickle down her throat. Luckily, Rin was conscious enough to try to swallow, although it did nothing but send a burning sensation down her throat. She coughed reluctantly and groaned when the motion made her side wound well up with blood again. Rin could feel her oracle cells working in overtime in reaction to the strong, rare medicine. She no longer felt sore and the blazing pain in her back was reduced to a heavy stinging throb. The redhead shuddered. If she still felt like that after the elixir, she definitely didn't want to see the damage. And despite her short-lived bliss, her side still ached.

"Hurts…"

Soma took a closer look at the wound and cursed. Whatever, no, _whoever_ attacked her must have put some strange poison in the blade. At the very least the bleeding should have slowed, but blood still flowed easily. It was a wonder how she still fought unconsciousness through sheer willpower.

"I'll have to get a closer look, Rin."

The statement told her more than enough. That she had to move her hand. That he'd have to cut away at her shirt to see past the gore. Slowly she nodded and released some pressure from her side. Quickly, Soma took out a sharp knife and carefully began cutting away. Luckily his glow stick was still bright, but he took extra care not to prolong her pain. The redhead grit her teeth and whimpered at the initial movement, but after that she remained bravely silent. Soma took a roll of bandages and quickly, yet precisely, bound her wound. As he did so he took a look at her back and winced. Those wounds would definitely leave scars. He bound what he could but most of her upper back was still exposed. Once again, she moaned in pain and then fell quiet. A nearby roar alerted him and the buster blader cursed.

"Just give the coordinates and go," Rin gasped when he bound her wounds tighter. "I'll be fine until a chopper comes."

"What did I say about chopper rides, leader?" he forced himself to joke and tied off the bandage. "Even with this you'll hardly last the trip to the chopper, let alone the ride back."

"Thank you for…the vote of confidence," She chuckled weakly. "And leader, huh? It's been a while since I've believed it…"

The buster blader glared at the quickly reddening bandage but mentioned nothing about it. Instead he put a hand to the com in his ear. "Kota, bring her in."

**[Roger that!]** Rin heard a familiar chirp from the com and giggled absently again. It looked like her mind was getting hazier and hazier of the danger they were in.

"That Kota… Is everyone alright?"

Soma took out a syringe from his bag and took the cap off with his teeth. "Yeah. Everyone got promoted when you got demoted. Karel was thrilled." He then injected fluid into her upper arm before tossing the now useless syringe away. It would degrade soon unlike those used in normal hospitals, so there was no need to worry. "Feel any better?" She slowly nodded as her eyes grew droopy. He waited a few more seconds before flicking her leg wound lightly. When she didn't register the pain, Soma carefully crouched in front of her and pulled her onto his back. Her body was colder than he thought. The painkillers he gave her would work for an hour in normal circumstances. He gave her a half hour at best before it wore off for her injuries. He had to act fast.

From memory he managed to navigate partway through the tunnels until he could follow the morbid blood stains on the walls. It pained him to look at them again, especially now that he was sure they were from her, but it was the only way he would be able to get her to safety in time.

"Hey, Soma?"

She was mumbling softly into the cloth on his back. The platinum haired God Eater half turned his head to her while jogging. "Yeah?"

"There's something I want to ask..."

"You can ask me when you get better, idiot." Soma replied. He could finally see the mouth of the cave he entered earlier. But she continued. Whether or not she heard him in the first place or was simply ignoring him gnawed at the back of his mind. Her physical injuries were dire, but he had no idea how to look for any mental issues.

"Did I do the right thing?" Her voice was almost inaudible now. Even with his heightened senses he had a hard time hearing her breathless words. Soma resisted the urge to hold her tighter. He could hear the blades of the chopper nearby and quickly scanned out the mouth of the cave before continuing forward. "Did I…do a good job?"

"You did what a leader would have done…" Soma replied after a short pause. No Aragami were in sight and any unfamiliar scents were gone. Two god eaters arrived with a stretcher and he carefully eased her on. While the two god eaters were distracted with getting her inside the chopper he managed to give her a tiny strained smile. "But giving all of us a heart attack might cost you some points." Rin smiled back just a little before her ordeal finally caused her to black out. The last thing she managed to see was Soma's quickly fading smile and an emotion akin to fear in his dark blue eyes.

* * *

**A/N**: Sorry. Not much romance in this. Then again this chapter could also constitute as practice for future action scenes. The romance is more for the next chapter. Originally this was going to be a oneshot epilogue but when I saw the word count jump to 6.9k+ I decided to end the chapter there and make another one. The lunar mission Rin was supposed to be training rookies for will be explained in the next chapter, as well as things that have been going on over on her side while she was away from the Den. Next chapter will have hopefully twice the romance as this one since Rin and Soma can actually interact in the next part.


	2. Escondig

**Crown of Thorns**

Chapter Two: Escondig

Escondig – A lover's apology

I recommend reading it. It's short so don't worry. It's in poetry format but I think it was meant to be a song of sorts. I found out some interesting stuff when I looked up what Trovatore meant…

I _kinda_ lied… Y'know how I implied this was only going to be two chapters? Yeah… The reason it took so long was because I was tearing my hair out by trying to fit everything in one more chapter while still feeling satisfied. Soooo, this will have one more chapter. DON'T KILL ME! –hides-

I'm pleased that someone took an interest in Rin's name. Yes, her name means ice and it's rather ironic that she was injured so gravely with an ice katana, eh? Haha. So…we left off with Rin in critical condition and being transported onto a chopper… I wonder what I shall make her fate?

I wonder if anyone has figured out the central theme in both _My Dearest_ and _Crown of Thorns. _I'll give you a cookie if you can figure it out. Also, I've been dying to use this section from "The Everlasting Guilty Crown" ever since I finished _Room for Three_.

* * *

_Was what you tried to protect with your hands_

_Someone that you loved?_

_Staring at your hands awash in red_

_You finally recognize your sins_

_And the stupid things you've done as mistakes_

_And you learn that you tears are ever-spilling_

_-Egoist, The Everlasting Guilty Crown_

* * *

Soma input a security code into the door lock. The heavy metallic door opened with a low hiss and he stepped inside the sterile area. His new white Fenrir coat felt foreign to him, but he might as well get used to it. It lacked his trademark hood and he was sorely tempted to tell the uniform department to add one in.

In a large cocoon-like pod in the center of the room, a girl was sleeping peacefully. Or at least it seemed that way. Her mouth was covered by a breathing apparatus, seeing as the pod itself was filled with healing fluids. Her chest and forehead had a wire connected inside the machine to monitor her status. Her wrist, which normally would have featured a large red armlet, was swapped out for a smaller white version—specially made for medical circumstances like hers. Unlike the red bracelet that was designed for monthly doses of Bias, the white one was suited for continuous doses that would normally cause abnormalities.

Her name was Amagi Rin—the previous 1st Unit Leader at the Far Eastern Branch.

The pods were usually used for heavily injured God Eaters whose services were desperately needed by their branch. In other words, they were a means to repair indispensible tools. Soma had heard rumors of God Eaters that have wanted to off themselves but were placed in the pods to prevent that. They were sent back into the field shortly after. In Rin's case, she wasn't only here because she was a valuable tool for Fenrir's use. Soma nearly spat at the thought. No, she was here for an entirely different reason. The people at the Den didn't just want her presence back. They needed it. And it wasn't for her help either. They needed the light she naturally shed on the dark world overrun by the gods. It seemed like such a childish and naïve thought to Soma at first, but shortly after her leave he noticed the change in the Den.

Licca busied herself more than usual with creating new God Arcs and set special materials aside if she had extra. The cafeteria no longer stocked up on her favorite tofu dish. Similarly, there were far too many of Dr. Sakaki's juices in storage. A certain seat on the couch in the lounge was always reserved. Maybe Rin didn't know just how much her disappearance affected the Far Eastern Branch, but at the very least Soma hoped that she would wake up and see what she had been missing.

Unfortunately, however, she was going back and forth between stable and in critical condition. A doctor came inside the room with an electronic chart. He regarded Soma with a slight bow and then turned towards the girl's vitals.

"Physically, she's doing well compared to yesterday," The doctor began. Soma no longer needed to ask for any changes in her condition. It was a given whenever he or anyone else within the 1st Unit came to visit the redheaded girl. "Her internal organs are slowly repairing themselves, although she may have some pain later on in the future. She may have to lay off many of the heavy missions unless she can handle the stress on her body. Externally she'll have minor scarring, but given the severity of her original state she got off lucky." She doctor cleaned his glasses before putting them back on. He gave Soma a somewhat confident smile. "The poison we found in her system still worries us, seeing as we still find traces of it flowing in her blood, but at this rate she'll be moved to the regular sickbay within a month or so."

"Any bad news?" Soma asked curtly.

The doctor's smile vanished immediately, but he kept the professional look on his face. "Her brain signals are still dormant. In a way she's in a comatose state, but we don't know why. She hasn't sustained heavy cranial trauma. It was just around the amount her medical records are used to. Perhaps it has something to do with the foreign substance in her blood? We recently found a correlation between the poison and oracle cell activity. Apparently it inhibits a God Eater's ability to repair and create other oracle cells. It is also slowly changing the chemical and biological structure of her systems. In a way, it's converting her back into a normal human being…!" as if sensing Soma's accusing glare he offered him a well-practiced reassuring smile. "Although we are quite intrigued by this phenomenon, many of us scientists are indebted to her. Rest assured. Her recovery will take upmost priority over our research." Even Soma could feel the sincerity of the doctor's tone and he relaxed immediately.

"I see… Thanks doc," the buster blader nodded and the doctor left the room. Soma pulled up a chair and studied the slumbering girl in the cocoon of glass. It had been a week since she had been extracted from the field in critical condition. "Hey. Still taking your time, eh?" he began.

Each day, without fail, he'd visit her for at least an hour—filling her in on things she's missed during their time of lost communication. Most of it was simply aimless conversation. Others were somber stories of lost comrades. He didn't like sharing them, but sometimes when he was out of what little good that was left to say he had to resort to the bad. Soma's smooth words filled the lonely white room.

"That damned Kota wanted to sneak over to your branch on your birthday. Then again, I guess I can't blame him. I had the same thought, too." He chuckled. There was no response. Soma's blue eyes softened and he put a gloved hand on the glass. "Hey. You're supposed to be doing all the talking. Not me."

Once again she remained silent.

"_Do you think we'll ever stop being God Eaters?"_

"If you turned back into a normal human…" Soma trailed off.

Would she leave?

It would be her opportunity to leave the life of dancing with death at every turn. It would be her chance to live the life she never could. She had already repaid her 'debt' to them by going off alone (Much to everyone's chagrin). He recalled their conversation in his room a couple months ago. Despite the dedication the girl had towards the branch and protecting mankind, it was no secret that she longed for normalcy. It showed in her frequent visits to the archives of the old world and even in her half-hearted jokes about what existed in a time before the Aragami.

Soma pulled out a black tie out from his jacket pocket and traced absent circles on the rough surface. It was found on her person when she was recovered and he took it before it was brought to her other belongings in her room. Even now, her items from her previous branch her being brought here by chopper. He couldn't imagine the heat Tsubaki was getting right now.

"_Can I…have this? I promise I'll give it back."_

As he slowly touched the tie in his hand, the sleeve of his jacket shifted and revealed a nostalgic black ribbon securely tied around his tanned wrist. He was rarely seen without it since the day she left.

Soma rested his forehead against the cold glass surface and let out a shuddering sigh while closing his dangerously stinging eyes. "I've held up my end of the bargain so far. Now it's your turn, idiot." There was a small movement within the pod and Soma immediately sat up. It was small but he could see her fingers flexing ever so slightly. Her brows were furrowed slightly before relaxing again. Soma breathed a small sigh of relief. Although it worried Soma slightly, it was a sign that she was still responsive. She was still fighting. For now, that was enough…

* * *

Tsubaki tapped her nail on the wooden desk impatiently as she glared into the blue holographic screens—or more at the multiple people on the other side. Their angry postures were practically synonymous to a cornered kitten compared to what she's seen in her lifetime.

"This is blasphemy! We demand the return of the New-type Amagi Rin!"

"It is against policy to reclaim God Eaters, Amamiya. You may just lose your position as branch director if you do not explain yourself properly." Another voice began sternly. The angry glint in his eyes matched the sheen on his balding head, Tsubaki mused to herself silently. The retired sniper took a deep breath and folded her fingers together on the desk and cleared her throat.

"With all due respect, branch directors, we have had reason to believe unjust treatment of the New-type God Eater Amagi Rin. There have been reports of mistreatment within most of your branches as well, so we could not help but keep an eye on a…valuable asset of ours. As such, we have sent notifications of her deteriorating health and warnings to each branch she was sent to. However no replies or responses to rectify the problem have risen." Although her face was like stone and almost impassive, she couldn't hide the venom in her words. "The Far Eastern Branch had taken measures and decided to extract her from the field." At last she smiled somewhat mischievously, "And of course, I approved of all extraction activities. The only policies that have been stepped over were your inability to respond to our messages. It is no different from a company being liquidated of its products, is it not?" Although Tsubaki would never compare the redhead to a mere product, the fact that many of the other branch directors have had personal experience with company liquidation would make the sting all the sweeter.

One of the younger directors (Although still older than her) coughed and cleared his throat. "A-Although you may have stated your attentions to Fenrir policy, there are still things that stand out." Already Tsubaki cursed in her mind. "You said you knew of her deteriorating health and yet that type of information is considered classified. Not only that, but you had access to other classified information such as the location and time of her mission." She had hoped they wouldn't catch on to that fact and swore to remember that one particular man's face for sniper practice later in the week. "Are we to presume that you declare yourself guilty to these illegalities?"

The Northern Branch, where Rin was just recently extracted from, pushed his falling glasses up the bridge of his nose. "Well, Director Amamiya. What do you have to say for yourself?"

The sniper fell tortuously silent.

"Very well then. We shall schedule the return of—"

The door to her office opened up and a familiar fox-like face entered the room with a dramatic flourish. "Director Amamiya, may I have a moment?"

"What is it, Dr. Sakaki?" Tsubaki asked, as if she was angry at his intrusion. In reality, she was pleased (albeit annoyed) at his coincidental appearance. At the mention of the starseer's name, there were a couple of murmurs across the speakers.

"There are some things I must discuss with you right away regarding _that_ project," he spoke just loud enough for Tsubaki to hear clearly, but soft enough that the Branch Directors on the holographic screen had to crane their ears closer to their speakers to catch parts of the conversation. From the corner of her eyes she could see the anger dissipate from most of the other Directors. Instead, Dr. Sakaki's words piqued their interest. She wasn't surprised considering many of these Directors were still scientists doing research when they weren't bombarded by paperwork.

"Understood. Forgive me, gentlemen, but I must see to a rather important and time-sensitive matter. We shall continue our discussion tomorrow." And before any argument could be raised she cut the connection. When she was sure the microphone and camera were off she held her head in her hands and rubbed her temples soothingly. "I never thought I would say this, but you saved me Doctor."

"Don't mention it," he grinned and started cleaning his glasses. "I heard that you were taking a lot of heat and decided to drop by. Although there really are a few things we needed to discuss."

Tsubaki nodded and lifted her head. "The Lunar Seed Project, is that right?" When the doctor nodded the sniper sighed. "The appearance of the Singularity and Shio, the Aragami girl holding it… She transported Nova to the moon and caused vegetation to grow on its surface. And now that Fenrir has a stable enough income, we can actually charter an exploration team. If we're lucky, we may be able to reproduce a controlled devouring apocalypse to rejuvenate the Earth by studying the moon's surface. Any forms of life found will be brought back for…testing." She summarized with a grimace at the end.

Dr. Sakaki shook his head as the smile disappeared from his lips. "On paper, Amagi was brought to other branches in order to train New-types for the mission. She was also offered a chance to join the Lunar Seed Project, and in doing so get Shio before the other branches do. In reality, it was the perfect pincer tactic to kill her off quietly while still giving experience to other God Eaters." He sat down on one of the cushioned chairs and crossed his arms over his chest. Tsubaki pulled out a heavy file from her drawer and stared at the contents. They consisted of many names of young God Eaters whose names were dyed in the red letters KIA. Her eyes softened.

"I had a chance to stop her reassignment. It would be looked down upon and investigated, but I could have rejected the orders from the other branches. But too many God Eaters have died due to carelessness and lack of compassion for our lives. I pushed the responsibility onto her shoulders…"

_Tsubaki sat down on the couch next to the slouching brunette in the empty lounge. It was far past sleeping hours. Normally she would be scolded and ordered to her room, but Tsubaki remained strangely quiet against this breach in policy._

_Rin straightened up and propped her arms up on the cushions before staring up into the metal ceiling. "Reassignment, huh… I never thought it actually happened around here." And then she craned her head to direct a lopsided grin in Tsubaki's direction. "Not gonna scold me about being out here?"_

_The noir haired woman shook her head and crossed her leg casually. "For all I know, no one is in the lobby."_

_The redhead's brown eyes widened in surprise before she sputtered and laughed. Her arms flew to her aching sides and mirthful tears started to form at the corners of her eyes. "Haha, I'm sorry! I just…haha!" Tsubaki smiled a bit at the New-Type's odd behavior._

"_Have your laugh now, but if you don't quiet down than I'll have no choice but to send you back to your room."_

"_Send me back?" Rin managed to control her breath, although the wide grin was still on her lips. She looked down into her empty lap. "Sounds rather nice…"_

_Tsubaki noted her true meaning and the mirth disappeared from her eyes. "Amagi—"_

"_Ah, it sounds exciting! Going to new places, I mean!" Rin stretched as she boldly cut the sniper off. The redhead exchanged an apologetic look to her superior and continued seriously. "It's not in me to be the type that runs away without a fight, even if I have the option to. I didn't run from Nova and I'm not going to run from this."_

"_You've heard the rumors of the other branches from Dr. Sakaki, am I right?" Tsubaki warned. "Once you're out there we won't be able to do anything to help you even if we wanted to. It'll be out of our jurisdiction, unless you can manage to dig up solid proof of misconduct in the branches. You'll be on your own and there's no guarantee you'll return alive. Are you absolutely sure?"_

"_Don't worry," Rin said. She took something out from her pocket: a rough black tie. Her fingers gently touched the cloth and a soft, determined smile appeared on her features. "I don't plan on dying just yet."_

Tsubaki picked up a particular sheet with a brunette man with eyes, so full of life and wonder, similar to Rin's. He was an active member of the Far Eastern branch several years before the redhead. The sniper remembered that God Eater rather fondly. He was the type to give medical treatment to someone else before himself, even if he was injured more. Not only that, he was quite skilled in combat as an old-type Sniper gunner. Maybe his eyes weren't as sharp as hers, but it was better than the average. Because of that he was often sent on stealth missions or eradication teams when Tsubaki had her hands full with her own mission quota. Despite all the bloodshed, however, he was kind and gentle. Other God Eaters used to joke that he would probably be better off working a desk job rather than the front lines. At the age of 21 he still had a bit of a baby face.

The brunette would sometimes stash seldomly served dessert for when he went back home to visit his little sister. Sometimes, Tsubaki would even find a little dessert in _her_ mail box from him (sometimes she still wondered why her of all people). On the sheet his name was crossed out in ominous black marker, but Tsubaki would never forget him; especially now.

Amagi Kazuo—Rin's older brother. He, too, had been reassigned to another branch temporarily. Not even a month had passed since his reassignment before he was declared KIA all because of a few misplaced zeros and a Sariel's laser straight to the heart. And what did a shivering, crying Rin get when the news came to the ten year old girl? A pat on the head and a few extra rations to help last the merciless winter alone.

Six years later, that same crying girl stood before Tsubaki as the Far Eastern Branch's first New-Type God Eater. Her eyes were hard and lonely—a far cry from the lively woman that she knew today. It was a time everyone remembered, yet no one dared to bring it up. Rin was quiet and solitary. She did nothing outside the necessary. After missions she would either retire to her room or maybe hang around the meal halls alone. Being the first New-Type at the branch, naturally people came up to her now and then and asked her questions, but her answers were short and offered nothing that was part of her inner self.

Through persistence alone, Kota managed to dig deeper into the frozen shell of that girl that she started to thaw. Tsubaki saw Rin's brother live again in her brown eyes. She saw the kind determination Kazuo once kindled. The transformation intrigued Tsubaki as she maintained a professional distance. Upon the first time the Den heard the girl laugh everyone thought someone new came in, and rumors spread about a mysterious ghost of a lost girl play hide-and-seek. Rin laughed even harder upon hearing that and soon everyone got used to her new, possibly true façade. Yet, at the times Tsubaki passed by the meal halls the same time Rin enjoyed them she saw the small cracked smile Rin made when she got a rare serving of dessert.

Throughout the entire time Tsubaki has known Rin she never uttered a word of Kazuo or hinted that she knew him. Likewise, the redhead never asked. The scars ran too deep and the pain finally seemed to subside for now. Rin, who lost everything, finally built her way back up. Many people looked at God Eaters in fear when their own lives didn't hang in the balance. It came as no surprise seeing as they shared similar traits to the Aragami that threatened mankind. But from what Tsubaki saw, Rin looked content—sated, even, despite the circumstances. By trading her humanity, she found something that ironically made her feel human again: a family.

Only to lose it all again.

"Some people forget that even if we have cells similar to the beasts that we hunt, we were human once, too. We can still think and feel. We still know pain and compassion. Maybe they're too frightened to admit that a part of us is still human." Tsubaki put the files back in the drawer and sat down. "Rin knew…I gave her information on the branches she would visit, such as survival rate and overall health of the God Eaters. Some branches barely make it to the minimum for health inspections to just to cut costs. I personally told her about the challenges ahead and yet…"

"Amagi knew what she was getting herself into and what the outcome could be. Even _I_ warned her. But she's too noble, too pure a soul, to turn the chance down."

"Chance?" Tsubaki repeated.

"The chance for a happy ending, even at the cost of her own."

* * *

Days turned into weeks. Weeks turned into a month. Just as the doctor predicted, the red headed god eater was eventually moved to the normal sickbay when her condition finally stabilized. Visitors were now free to visit their returned leader. Of course, she was still limited to only a few people per visit, but it suited everyone just fine.

Unfortunately, Rin still had not regained consciousness. The doctors tried everything from drugs to smelling salts. Alisa even tried resonating with her but she still refused to wake. The Russian felt a faint spark of connection, but it was too far to reach. They all despaired when she even mentioned it was getting fainter and fainter each passing day. It made no sense… Physically she was recovering perfectly. Her organs, though they've seen better days, were healing with little problems. Her skin, after experiencing heavy medical treatment that was usually reserved for special cases, was almost void of any scarring save for the deep ones she sustained over her year as a God Eater and the new ones that tore her back (But even those were now small faint blemishes). Soma explained the situation: that her body was slowly turning back into a human. The group ate up the news with mixed emotions.

Lindow and Sakuya were glad for her despite the inner sadness they both felt if she would be forced to live in the Ghetto (albeit one of the nicer sections). It was no secret that they both considered her something like a daughter to them. Alisa and Kota tried hard to hide how truly worried and frightened they were about Rin turning back into a normal human—Kota more so. Although he knew how dangerous it was to live as a God Eater, living in the Ghetto as a human was almost as dangerous. Not only did people have to worry about the monsters just beyond the barrier, they had to worry about the people around them as well. Not everyone had enough rations for mouths to feed, and not everyone had their morals in order.

As for Soma…he still didn't know what to feel about his situation. There wasn't any cliché ache in his chest, nor was he distracted beyond reason. He just didn't know how to act around those that asked; especially when they recalled their. Was what he wanted the good for everyone? For Rin? Or maybe only himself? Conflicted: that was probably the best word for it.

"Soma! It's time for your God Arc's check up!" Licca called from the intercom in his room. Soma sighed and pulled on his white Fenrir coat over his blue button down shirt.

"Might as well get this over with…"

* * *

"Looks like he's in good condition. You've been more careful, haven't you, Soma?" Licca smiled at him as she oiled the large white blade. She often referred to God Arcs by gender instead of objectifying them; especially after the Ren affair. "He's in much better shape than before when you used to take the brunt of all the damage recklessly." Some gave a sound like a grunt as he stood leaning against the wall in his usual pose. The mechanic shrugged her shoulders helplessly before continuing her task. The core was slightly cracked, but that was from a while ago and it couldn't be properly fixed until the new shipment of supplies came in later in the week. It wasn't too banged up so Soma was in the green as long as he wasn't being too gutsy a fighter. "Your upgrade was scheduled for next month, but I might make a rush order for next week or so since it needs some work done anyway."

After thanking her, his eyes shifted to the other workbench beside her. On it under a bright light was a broken hilt with white shards in an array that made it look like an incomplete jigsaw puzzle. The normally glowing gold core in the hilt was a dull gray. Licca followed his gaze and nodded solemnly. "Yes, that's her God Arc: a Trovatore. I've only made two in all my years working here—but I still think the one I made for Rin was the most beautiful. It's a shame it's like this now…"

"Trovatore, huh... She was almost obsessed with upgrading and maintaining her Rigoletto." Soma pushed off the wall and walked towards the unmanned bench. "So what's going to be the verdict with this one?"

The mechanic's eyes became melancholy. "It's too busted up to reassign, let alone salvage for parts. The Aragami cells that comprised it are pretty much dead, so it's practically a normal metal blade. Or at least what's left of one. It'll probably be disposed of." A beeper on Licca's trusty belt went off, and when she went to check her eyes widened. "I'm sorry! I have to see to an early shipment! I'll be right back. If you want I can send you a message when your weapon maintenance is done, okay?" She hurried out of the holding room, leaving Soma alone with the God Arcs. He walked up to the bench with the broken blade and frowned. It was so damaged; even more so up close.

Soma eyed the white shards on the workbench. Surely they couldn't still be harmful if the cells that comprised it were dead. Instead of waiting for Licca, Soma picked up one of the larger shards. He didn't know what compelled him to do such a stupid thing. After all, it was still possible to get contaminated despite the dead cells. It shimmered in mysterious way in his hand. Despite being broken beyond repair, Rin's god arc was still beautiful as ever. A bit of trivial and unimportant knowledge from one of Dr. Sakaki's lectures came to mind. Trovatore: performers—no, composers of lyrical poetry. They usually dealt with the arts of chivalry and courtly love.

Chivalry… Soma scoffed as he remembered how Rin once talked about having some kind of hero complex before she left. He remembered that night particularly. He remembered the way her hands shook and how her mind fought with how she should act. He remembered the way her lips trembled against his and how her breath ghosted against his neck…

"Gh…" Soma winced as he released the white shard from his hand as if it was on fire. His index finger and thumb dripped with a small amount of blood. Upon hearing Licca return, he quickly (and carefully) picked the shard back up and pocketed it before excusing himself. Better take the murder weapon away from the scene than leave it for prints, right? He shook his head at the morbid analogy and hurried to his room while ignoring the occasional greeting down the halls.

* * *

Something was off. He could feel it upon waking up. His senses were starting to pick up another presence in the room, but for some reason some things was conflicting with him. For one: the door couldn't be opened without his permission, and even if it could he would have woken up right away from the hiss of the door. Two: the presence felt oddly…familiar—hence his body's reaction to be relaxed instead of tense and alert. In fact, he was perfectly content with falling back asleep now, even with the unknown presence in the room. Which brings him to his third and final conflict: the _only_ people he was comfortable with in his room were Rin and…

Soma's eyes snapped open and he turned his head to the source of his concerns. What surprised him was a platinum blonde, nearly white-haired, girl wearing a pure white dress sitting at the edge of his bed. Shio? No… He blinked and rubbed his eyes of the sleep that still remained in his system. The short white hair he thought he saw was long instead, and the dress was simpler than the winged one the Aragami-girl wore—almost resembling a familiar nightie Rin wore on their camping trip. On her right wrist was a dark crimson bracelet—marking her as a God Eater. It was strange though. He never saw this girl in his life. The girl reacted to his shocked reaction with a calm blink of her bright azure eyes. "Good morning."

And of course, like the gentleman Soma was, he replied: "What the hell?"

She made a placating gesture with her small hand. "Rest at ease. I'm not here to cause you any harm. My name is Jun." Soma kept his suspicious and irritated eyes on her. Did she honestly expect _just_ that would ease him? Jun merely sighed tiredly. "If I was truly going to do something horrible, then I wouldn't have waited here until you woke up."

"And you couldn't wait outside like a normal person?" Soma growled and sat up warily. "Look, I don't know what you're up to, but if you need help chalk it up to the Director or something." Even with words meant to gain trust he was never one to give it away so easily.

"I need _your_ help. Please…" Jun spoke as a hesitant and meek tone seeped into her calm and collected voice. "You're the only one that can help me." Her gaze lowered into her lap as she folded her hands. For some reason, the image of Rin sleeping while bathed in the light of the full moon flashed into his vision.

He scratched the back of his head and then groaned in mild frustration. He turned his body and got up off the bed. Jun watched his movements with a curious and hopeful tilt of her head. If this was going to get serious, he preferred not to be on the same bed as her. Even if she wasn't coming on to him, her dress looked thin as it hugged her small form, and combined with her smooth shapely legs it left nearly nothing to imagination.

Don't get him wrong. He was still quite faithful to the slumbering redhead God Eater in the sick bay and nothing would change that. But despite how their looks were so different, he couldn't help but get a similar reaction to when he saw Rin during the camping trip. That was exactly why he was so uncomfortable with another woman in his room.

The old Soma would have harshly kicked her out, but he resisted the urge to do so. The current Soma was still struggling with what to do. The God Eater didn't show his back to her to be safe, but a small part of him instinctively felt inclined to believe her. He leaned his back against the broken screen in his room and crossed his arms. "I'll listen to your request, but don't expect me to trust you just yet."

Jun exhaled a breath of relief before recollecting herself. "It's about Amagi Rin and her condition." Soma flinched slightly at the name and hoped she didn't notice the gesture. "There are things the doctor did not know and therefore could not tell you about her comatose state."

"And how would you know this? You don't look like the research type." He scrutinized. She ignored his means of interrogation this time.

"If her transformation from God Eater to human is completed, she won't remember anything from the time she arrived at the Far Eastern Branch." To these words, Soma kicked off the wall and walked in front of the platinum blonde girl. His dark blue eyes burned into hers with hatred and clenched his fists.

"What did you say?"

Jun studied his reaction briefly before answering. "Aragami cells leave an imprint on not only the body but also on the brain. Every survival instinct, every bit of bloodshed, even the emotions the host feels are embedded in those cells. If all of the cells disappear, then every memory they contained will be lost as well."

"You didn't answer me earlier. How do you know all this?" Soma growled in suspicion. Jun smiled and shook her head.

"First things first: we need to get to Amagi Rin to monitor her condition. I'm afraid I cannot give any concrete evidence to my answer unless I can see her for myself."

Soma narrowed his eyes at her urgent need to see the slumbering God Eater. It could be a trap set up by the other branches. Perhaps she was a sleeper agent sent in to kill her? After all, if she woke up then she could testify against unjust treatment of God Eaters within the branches. Even though her ward was open for visiting, people still needed to get checked in and out. Could she just be using him for clearance into the room? If that was the case… Soma was ready to send out an alert signal from a switch on his Aragami bracelet. If she was going to pull anything suspicious then he was more than willing to turn her in at the slightest gesture.

"That's a nice ribbon you have there." She commented idly once they left his room and walked down the hall. Soma grunted and hid his surprise. The black ribbon Rin gave him was well hidden beneath his sleeve. Or maybe she just saw glimpse of it earlier? "It makes a pair with that tie you gave her, huh."

Soma stopped walking and stared at Jun, who kept walking in front of her. She also halted in her step a few feet away and turned around to face him. A small, almost pained smile was on her face and it reminded Soma of the look on Rin's face before she left. "I only want to help Amagi Rin. Afterwards, I am completely fine with leaving this branch. I'll trust her in your hands one last time."

"…Why are you here? Tell it to me straight."

"Maybe you'll be able to figure it out once we're done here." She smiled mysteriously and continued down the hall and towards the elevator. Shortly after, they arrived at the sick bay and Soma reluctantly put in his code and allowed themselves in.

"As I thought…" Jun frowned as she sat down in the chair beside the comatose God Eater. Rin's face was still paler than normal—so much so that it made Jun look tanner than Soma originally thought. The blonde took the redheads hand in hers and closed her eyes. "At this rate she won't be a God Eater for very long. She's just barely managing to hold onto whatever is left."

"So, she's been trying to hold onto her oracle cells? While in a coma?" Soma asked skeptically.

Jun nodded. "Yes. That's precisely the main reason why she still slumbers. All of her remaining energy is going into fighting against the effects of the poison that's eating away at her God Eater abilities. In a way, going into a coma is like putting a computer into safe mode." She put Rin's hand back down on her chest and moved a couple of hairs from her face to the side. It had grown a bit longer since the day she left. "There are two ways to wake her up: either wait it out until her body completely turns back into a human…or give her a lethal dose of the bias factor to salvage her status as a God Eater."

To this, Soma couldn't hide his shock. "What? That'll kill her! Or worse, turn her into an Aragami!"

"Perhaps," Jun nodded with an eerie nonchalance, "But if it works, the sudden higher dose of bias factor will counteract the poison devouring what is left of her oracle cells. The doctors had been trying to delay their corrosion by injecting her with continuous small doses of bias, however the poison strain is starting to become resistant. Therefore—" The buster blader grabbed the girl roughly by her shoulder and forced her to turn to him. His lips were curled into an angry snarl and his blue eyes glinted dangerously.

"You—are you even human? That's insane! Even scientists wouldn't _think_ to use heavy samples of bias in one subject anymore since they know it'll fail!" The girl flinched at the iron grip on her shoulder but other than that she didn't shy away from his aggression. This only further agitated him, but the beep of the machines nearby forced him to calm down enough to release her. "You told me to trust you, but at this rate I'm rather tempted to call this in. Well? Start talking."

She finally scoffed, just a bit, at his threat and tilted her head to the side in a mocking fashion. "I dare you. I'm the only one that knows the exact dose that has the least chance to kill her. Even Dr. Sakaki doesn't know a thing about it and by the time he figures out the dosage it'll be too late. She'll be on a one-way trip to the Ghetto. And besides," her blue eyes suddenly turned serious as she gestured to the slumbering God Eater. "Do you honestly think she wants it to end like this? Do you think she _wants_ to lose her memories? Didn't you promise you wouldn't forget her? It would tear her up if _she_ was the one who forgot you and the promise you made with each other."

"_Promise me. Promise you'll remember me…"_

When Jun saw Soma's conflicted body stiffen she sighed. "…I can wake her up temporarily if you really want to hear it from her point of view."

"…How did you know? About that promise."

The white haired girl smiled wryly. "You wanted to know how I know her right? Maybe this will help you figure it out." She placed both hands on Rin's red bracelet. Black tendrils suddenly extended from her bracelet into the slot of Rin's. Slowly but surely, color began to flow back into Rin's complexion. However at the same time, the platinum blonde's healthy skin started to turn a sickly pallor. The machines in the room began to beep at an erratic rate before the black strands disappeared and the blonde let out a shuddering breath. The machines slowly went back to their normal pace. The platinum blonde stood up from her seat next to the bed and took out a sample of Bias Factor from her dress pocket. "Wait a bit and she'll wake up. I'll leave you two alone." She said after putting it in his gloved hands. With swaying steps she left the sick bay.

He didn't stop her. He just stared at what she left in his hands silently until he heard a quiet waking moan. The buster blader stepped forward, hesitant to come too close to the bed. A flutter of movement halted his action and he stared carefully at the sleeping face on the bed. Black lashes lifted slowly, revealing familiar brown eyes. Soma felt himself breathe in sharply and felt his lips part in shock. The redhead shifted slowly and she yawned sleepily before offering Soma a tired oblivious smile.

"Good morning."

Soma blinked in surprise as a swirl of emotions began to stir within him: confusion as to how she managed to wake up, anger because of her stupidly cute wake-up greeting despite the worry she caused on everyone, but most of all unrelenting relief because she was alright. He slowly walked to the other side of the bed and hesitantly placed his tanned hand on her cheek. Rin closed her eyes and weakly brought her small hand to overlap his. He helped her sit up since her muscles were still weak from disuse during her coma. When he felt the familiar warmth she used to secrete he gave her a pained smile. "You idiot. Is that really the first thing you have to say to me when you wake up?"

Rin giggled as she reopened her brown eyes to look into his blue ones. "Just shut up and kiss me already." And without another moment's hesitation his lips descended onto hers. He was careful. It was as if he could break her any moment. If this was the past, the idea of her being as fragile as fine china would never pass his mind. Now, however, he knew he was touching a human—such a fragile existence in his bloodstained hands. Rin must have felt his hesitation because she pulled away and held his face in two trembling hands. "You're not going to hurt me and you never will, dummy."

The buster blader decided to believe in her words, if not to convince himself otherwise. "Do you remember anything from before you passed out?"

"I…think," Rin frowned in deep thought. "I remember getting attacked by a New-type Aragami and then…our Unit leader turned on me. Our sniper died and—" her eyes widened in realization. "That girl! The one that was with me! Did you see anyone else on the mission?" When the buster blader shook his head in apology Rin despaired. There was a low chance that she was recovered from the field then and a nonexistent chance that she survived.

Rin looked down into her small hands and slowly flexed them. Somehow something felt…off about her body. She tried calling out to the oracle cells in her body, but the voices she normally heard were nonexistent. The redhead thought it was odd at first that she felt nothing from Soma when he touched her. She learned to control her resonance to an extent where she could at least refrain from looking into people's memories and settle for diluted emotions. From Soma, she felt absolutely nothing.

"…I can't use resonance anymore, huh… But there are more important matters at hand for now and we don't have much time left." Rin turned back to Soma. "I remember hearing a voice right before I woke up. It told me that if my condition continued I would lose both my God Eater status and my memories, and the only treatment for this is to use Bias to counteract the poison." When Soma nodded to her short recap she sighed disappointedly. "Is this really such a hard decision?"

"It's not that simple, Rin. It's your _life_ at stake here!" Soma countered. "If you die, then that's it—game over. But you can go back. You can get away from all this fighting. Didn't you wonder if there would ever be a time where you would stop being a God Eater?" he bit his inner cheek. Soma felt his heart hammering painfully in his chest as he forcefully said his next words. "Well now's your chance."

Rin narrowed her eyes but tried desperately not to get too riled up. If she got too angry she would use up whatever strange boost of energy that woke her up. She couldn't fall back asleep until they resolved this problem. Her hands gently grabbed his and slowly she pushed the syringe full of the golden Bias Factor closer to his chest. She entrusted her means of salvation of demise to him.

"I'll admit. I honestly thought about becoming human again when things got too tough. But not like this… If becoming human means losing my family again then to hell with it! I'm sick of losing… I can't do it again." A feeling similar to when she'd use resonance engulfed her, but the emotions that took over her were the ones she had locked away so long ago—back when Kazuo died and when she first learned of her reassignment. As she fought through the tears, she grabbed Soma's sleeve tight. "I would rather lose everything else than you and everyone else again. Please, Soma."

The buster blader sighed and he gripped the fabric of his pants tightly. His gaze shifted from his lap to her determined brown eyes before he shook his head and chuckled. "I just can't win against you, can I?" A smile broke out on Rin's face. Soma had noticed that she had begun to sway and eased her back down. "Want me to wait until you fall back asleep?"

Rin shook her head. "No. Do it while I'm awake."

He leaned over to her bracelet and unplugged the IV that periodically gave her regular doses before lining up the syringe with the injection port. "It'll hurt." He warned. Soma had no real personal experience with bias injections since his body naturally supplied him with his dosages, but he's heard enough to tell. Rin chuckled at his concern.

"I've been shocked by Vajra's, nearly impaled by Borg Camlann, almost burned alive, and choked on rice. I can handle a needle."

"Stupid—"he growled and wanted to remind her that she was more or less a human now and not a God Eater as she was at those instances, but when he partly realized that she was trying to convince the both of them he sighed and released the safety on the syringe [1]. "Take a deep breath." When she did so, he pressed the button at the opposite end of the device. A hissing sound came out and her entire body tensed up from the intrusive sensation. As the golden liquid slowly exited the syringe she continued to cringe. Rin grit her teeth and already sweat began to form at her brow. When all of the Bias Factor entered the bracelet he quickly discarded the syringe and held onto her hand. Immediately her fingers closed in-between his and clamped down tight. Soma winced, already feeling that her strength was returning to her and even more so. That wasn't reassuring at all.

In all honesty, this much concentration of the Bias Factor would kill two people and "modify" a third.

Through the haze of pain, Rin managed to reopen her eyes just enough and forced a grim smile onto her face. "If things go south call it in. I won't force or ask you to end it. Just…" Soma nodded and gave her hand an encouraging squeeze. Her brown eyes were then curtained once more behind her eyelids as she continued to fight off the Bias Factor from completely taking over. It was a taxing job. In the back of her mind she amusedly wondered if childbirth was this painful. Her entire body felt like it was burning up and it felt like an overwhelming pressure was fighting to escape; especially at her neck. Breathing became difficult and she found herself clawing at the skin there with her free hand.

Unbeknownst to her, a small yellow crystal broke through the skin just below her throat and between her collarbones. It was too small to really notice from afar, but small trickles of blood trailed down from the broken skin where it came forth from. Soma's eyes widened and he used his other hand to try pinning her down on the bed so that she would stop tearing at her red streaked throat. Rin screamed in a frighteningly animalistic manner at his means to hold her down. The buster blader could have sworn her canines were starting to look more like fangs and her nails were starting to look sharper. The small yellow gem glinted, as if it was pulsing with life. Was she already undergoing a transformation?

His eyes flitted to the emergency call button on the side of the bed. It would have been easy to just push it and request back up. If she turned into an Aragami _inside_ the base he couldn't imagine how many casualties would take place. Not only that, she would be killed on sight. Despite her undying will to live, Soma doubted she wanted to harm anyone in the process—regardless of how much she deserved to survive this ordeal.

It was becoming increasingly difficult to hold the girl down as she continued to thrash beneath him. The machines nearby were blaring and some even shorted out due to all of Rin's biological activity. Rin's red hair was beginning to lighten and her brown eyes were beginning to turn a startling, _hungry_ gold. Soma cursed and shut his eyes tightly, for once praying for a miracle.

"_It's alright."_

Soma's blue eyes snapped open at the voice and he looked around the room for the source of the familiar voice. When no such body existed in the room he noticed that, like the Jun earlier, thin tendrils were escaping the red Aragami bracelet on his wrist. Except instead of black, they were pure white. The thin strands of lifelike light connected to Rin's. For a moment she screamed again in dissent, but her thrashing began to quiet down. The yellow gem below her throat was slowly turning into a bright azure. Soma blinked in confusion before focusing on the white tendrils that were calming Rin down. Her hair was turning back to its deep red and her eyes back to brown. Just what had happened?

A faint giggle echoed through the room before the voice continued speaking. _"Aw, Soma forgot Shio?"_

"Shio?" Soma repeated in shock. She was supposed to be back on the moon where she took Nova. Nevertheless, he had to chuckle despite the situation where they were finally able to communicate with each other. "No, I didn't forget. You've dragged me around too many times for me to forget you."

"_Really? But we had fun, didn't we?"_ Shio's voice spoke with mirth in the room. She paused for a moment before answering his silent question. _"I said we would never be apart, remember? No matter what."_

Soma gaped for a moment before smirking and eventually gave way to a short laugh. "You two are always dragging me along your own pace. You owe me, you know that?"

He could imagine her grinning wide at this while leaning forward. _"Okay!"_ she paused and her voice started out mellower. _"This is as much as I can do for you two. So please… Don't come looking for me—just for a bit longer."_ The vitals on the machines still linked to Rin quieted and finally settled to a normal rate. She was still sleeping, but Soma was no longer worried that she would fall into another coma. He loosened his hold on her wrists and carefully got off the bed. There was no more danger for the time being, although he would have to take her to Dr. Sakaki to see to that newly formed crystal.

"It's not your fault things turned out like this, Shio." He sighed as he scolded her lightly. He could tell from her tone that Shio was more informed than he thought, but judging from her usual childlike mindset there was no doubt in his mind that she was blaming herself for how things turned out. "So, what now?"

"_I've managed to stop the transformation for now, so she'll be just like Lindow!"_

"Great… She had a bottomless stomach to begin with." Soma shook his head and then looked down at his red bracelet. "Thank you, Shio."

"_I did a good job, huh?"_

"Yeah," The buster blader stroked the redheads hair and smiled gently. "You both did."

* * *

[1] Think of the syringe with the Void Genome in guilty crown that Shu used to get his powers back, haha.

A/N: I couldn't help but listen to the guitar version of Bios during the injection scene, hehe. I wasn't planning Shio's sudden reappearance but she came to my rescue! ANYWAYS, I'm positive that the next chapter won't take two months like this one did! I'm so sorry about that!


End file.
